Dancing

I do not know how to dance. I dance a lot.
It bothers me when a man in a movie uses the excuse that he can't dance as the reason for not being able to slow dance with a girl. It just does not make sense. Slow dancing requires no skill.
Yet, I managed to f*ck it up when I first started the life of slow dancing. The first time I slow danced was when I was 12. I was at a holiday ball that my parents went to and I was the coat girl. As a 12 year old, I was the height of a giant. A boy that was in high school working for the catering service asked me to dance because he thought I was older.
I never slow danced before.
I put my arms on his hips because I had no idea where to place my hands.
I am still kind of embarrassed.
Freak dancing, however, requires great skill, particularly in the "booty" area.
Freak dancing is an amazing art form. It involves lots of grinding and the serious sexual facial expression. Without that face, its not a true freak dance. Freak dancing releases sexual frustration. You cannot freak dance and laugh though. That makes it unsexy. Freak dancing is all about being as sexy as a dancer as you can to let your special dance friend that you are real good.
I cannot freak dance properly. I think it is too funny to take seriously. How does one shove the a$$ into the pelvis of the other, shimmy shake to the floor with it, and grind back up without laughing? It's virtually impossible.
People that take freak dancing seriously are hornballs.
This new superman dance that people do is really odd. I am completely anti synchronized dances because it is just weird. I get really mad when the Cha Cha Slide, Macarena, or Electric Slide come on. No, I do not want to dance to it. People are obsessed with peer pressuring others to dance those dumb dances. Please stop. I really do not want to. That is the one thing I am dreading for weddings. I am coming to an age where I will be going to a lot of weddings. I am not dreading open bar. I am dreading open bar + synchronized dance songs because there is no telling where that could lead.