Getting Wasted

I'm for it. It's fun. I wish I did not like it so much. I usually have a handful of regrets for the nights when I'm at my prime waste case.
Getting wasted is funny because it has so many funny sayings to go along with it. Such as:

• You saucin' tonight?
• Lets pound some.
• You wanna get slam jammered?
• I was so hammered.
• Lets get sloppy.
• Drink the sweet nectar of the gods
  
• What a sh*tshow.
• Let's get retarded in here.
• Get f*cked up.
• I'm tipsy
  
• Lets drink an assortment of cocktails till we get real loosey goosey.
• 18 to get busy, 21 to get dizzy
• Get stupid.
• under the influence
• messed up
• YOURE INTOXICATED
  

The thing is, they are all pretty funny to say. Please note that if you say any of these and are fir realz about it, you're weird. I mean maybe you can pull off a few. But never say sauced and mean it. That is my problem in life. I think its weird to say sauced. I think its really lame. So I say it. I think its funny to say. Then I meet new people. I do not realize that these new people do not know that I am not fir real and then the new people run away. Whatevs.
Anyways I really like to drink lots of cocktails in a row.
I do not like when people are so drunk that their eyes are all over the place.
I never want to be too old to drink Sparks.
I do not find it funny to get an animal drunk, however, if the animal is drunk naturally by a fermented pumpkin for instance, I will laugh.
I hate being on the bus and hearing other peoples drunk stories.
I hate it more if its a freshman saying it.
I hate it more that I am that person sometimes.
Think of how awkward life would be without booze. I wouldn't be able to socialize with anyone! jk lol.
I only don't drink beer because the ratio of drunkness to how often I have to pee is too far off.
I only order vodka tonic because I do not know what else to get.
Shots cause weird faces and can't be done in public.
I know I am drunk when the shot I took was easy or if I become a hugger.
Overall, its a nice time till you make yourself look like a fool.