Saturday, September 22, 2007

Combos


I recently just tried this little combo and loved every second of it: sparks + vodka + champagne.
My initial reaction was THATS AMAZING and I was correct. But then everyone I told this combo to made a gross face and told me im sick. Regardless of what others told me, I tried the interesting combo and there was no surprise. It was awesome. The most awesome thing about this combo was that you get wasted in no time. No longer will one need to suffer through a painful shot or a sick strong mixed drink just to feel the effects of alcohol. Just make this nice combo, enjoy, and you will be sh*tfaced in no time.
Another combo that I just made up, but I am not taking credit for because I feel like its been done many times before but I just made up is: pancake batter + scrambled egg liquid = !!!
I love pancakes. I love eggs. I always eat them together anyways, so why not just make it together. Take the scrambled egg liquid and pour it in the pancake batter and make one cute little delish egg pancake. Ketchup or Syrup...its up to you! I was also thinking about putting sauage chunks in it. I have not done this yet, but I think it would do nothing but make it more awesome.
I also like the combination of Kid Rock +Sheryl Crow, Slim Shady +Elton John, Brit + Kev, purple +yellow, summer + popsicles, tall + dark + handsome, cheese + anything, chocolate + mint, chocolate + peanut butter, scarves + winter, milk + oreos, vodka + tonic, dolce + gabbana, ryan sechrist + am. idol, noodles + butter, myspace + stalking, and chips + dip.
I would like to see the combo of Sisqo + Leeann Womack.

Tuesday, September 18, 2007

Kid Rock

...is awesome.

Sunday, September 16, 2007

txt

sexC btch. l8r g8r. wot R U EtN 4 dinr? kewl. ttyl. Phat Nassy MoFo. scuba. asl. xlnt. ttfn. bffae. gr8. lylasf. b4. bbl. bbialw. tbaaald. nbd. brb. btdt. cya. diku?. html. diy. faq. we. fcol. fyi. g2g. bibiqtpi. itigtbs. gl. nifoc. xing. laser. rofl. oic. ne1. lol. fol. luwamh. plz. hiv. ppl. igp. s^. sos. h&k. tgif. cd. jk. sn. aol. tm. nasa. stfu. usa. y2k. udmn2m. kfc. interpol. esw. BYOB. hshintmhm. jlo. ge. lmbo. xtc. 4eva. ImA*VinRtst. XmeQK. myob. rnr. sbd. omg. nato. foti.

sexy bitch. later gator. what are you eating for dinner? cool. talk to you later. phat nassy mofo. self-contained underwater breathing apparatus. age/sex/location. excellent. ta ta for now. best friends forever and ever. great. love ya like a sister forever. before. be back later. be back in a little while. to be announced at a later date. no big deal. be right back. been there, done that. see ya. do I know you? hypertext markup language. do it yourself. frequently asked questions. whatever. for crying out loud. for your information. got to go. bye bye cutie pie. I think I'm going to be sick. good luck. naked in front of the computer. crossing. light amplification by stimulated emission of radiation. rolling on the floor laughing. oh i see. anyone. laugh out loud. fart out loud. love you with all my heart. please. human immunodeficiency virus. people. i gotta pee. sup. save our ship. hugs and kisses. thank god its friday. compact disc. just kidding. screen name. america online. text message. national aeronautics and space administration. shut the &^%$ up. united states of america. year 2000. you don't mean nuttin to me. kentucky friend chicken. international criminal police organization. engineers for a sustainable world. bring your own beer. he's so hot i need to make him mine. jennifer lopez. general electric. laughing my butt off. ecstacy. forever. I'm a starving artist. kiss me quick. mind your own business. rest and relaxtion. silent but deadly. oh my gawd. north atlantic treaty organization. fart on the inside.

Sunday, September 9, 2007

Sleep

BEST THING EVER. One time, in a get-to-know-each-other group activity, we had to say our name and one thing about ourselves.
Hi, my name is Jamie and my favorite thing to do is sleep.
I pondered my response for quite some time. Is that depressing? If that is really my favorite thing, that is kind of sad. But no, because its so amazing how can it not? I am not saying that is the only thing I ever want to do. I like doing a few other things too. But when my head hits the pillow and I know its that time again, I get real happy.
Ok, so I am sure we all know how amazing sleep is so here is my least favorite thing: when my arm falls asleep during slumber. I am awkward and sleep on my stomach. I am not sure what I will be doing when I become prego some day but I will worry about that when the time comes, but I sleep on my stomach and usually on top of my arms. I often wake up in the middle of the night and both of my arms are asleep. I honestly freak. When they are asleep I sit up super fast and flail my arms wildly around for several minutes until I regain feeling. Its probably the weirdest feeling ever. I feel like my arms are two clubs and every time I get scared they will never feel normal again. Then finally I feel all the blood surge back into my arms and soon I am fine again. I hate it though. Truly hate that feeling. What if I was on MTV's Real World and it happened? They have cameras that can see you in the dark and would be able to see me when I awake to my arms being asleep and have a total tweak attack.
It also sucks when you want to sleep in a car ride and your mouth is obsessed with being open.
I have seen people sleep with their eyes slightly opened and it is extremely creepy.

Work

I do not like work. I wish I never had to do it. Sometimes I think if I did not do it for a long enough time period that I would get sick of doing nothing and then I would want to work. But that is just silly. I could do nothing really well every day. It's not that I would do nothing, I would most likely go somewhere everyday. And I would appreciate the days I did nothing because thats very nice and relaxing. If I did not work, I would probably be a volunteer or work out a lot. Both of which are very beneficial. Or I would blog a lot. Also being very beneficial. My first job that I ever had was being a tennis instructor. It changed my life. I hated kids before that and lied to the guy that hired me and told him I loved kids and loved babysitting. Truth was that I hated all kids and babysitting was the worst times of my life. By the end of the summer, I grew fond of kids. I was 16 years old and was in charge of a million little kids between 6-18 years old. There were only 2 kids that were actually older than me and yes, it was very awkward. When I applied for the job, I thought there would be a pro tennis player actually teaching and I would just feed balls to the little stinkers and have a nice time. But the year they hired me they decided to not have a pro tennis player and have the stupid 16 year old person without any experience do the whole program. It was a free program so I guess it was not a big deal, but I felt it was a lot of responsibility. What if I did not go to work? All the kids would be dropped off by their parents and if I was not there only bad things would happen. I thought it was really weird for someone to give me that pressure.
One of the kids I had was named Jamie. I did not know if Jamie was a boy or a girl. Longer short hair, 7 years old, named Jamie. No clue. There is a game called King of the Court that we would play. If you win 2 points in a row you are the King. For the girls, I would say congrats your the queen. It was really awkward when Jamie would win. I would always say "woo congrats youre.....wooo go to the other side!" Well actually, lets back track. In the beginning, it was no question I thought Jamie was a boy. So I would originally say YAY YOURE KING! Then one day his/her grandma picked Jamie up and I could have sworn she goes "she loves playing tennis". It was then that I questioned myself. Did the grandma just say she. omg Jamie could be a boy or girls name. omg i told Jamie he/she was king. omg i f*cked the kid up. That was my thought process. But then I thought maybe I heard the grandmother wrong. Maybe she said "he". It was then that I would never say king or queen but rather wooo go to the other side. God I hated that. Note to readers: if you have a kid and decide to name your child a boy/girls name, please at least dress and make the hair give away the gender of your child. Another interesting thing is that my name is Jamie as well and I just realized that that might have happened to me as a child.
I think I just made myself depressed. Because think about it, if people question your gender: life sucks. But ok yes, its more sucky if you are an unintentional ambiguous gendered adult. Because once you are an adult, that is what you look like. All kids are kind of awkward and look funny so I guess I would not be super sad if I found out that people once questioned my gender, but that would be weird. I do not think it happened but I am just stating that my name is Jamie so its possible.
My dad wanted to name me Kelly if I was a boy. WTF? I am thankful I am a girl for 2 reasons: If I was a boy, my name would be Kelly and I have super straight hair and I think its really hard for a boy with slick straight hair to have a good hair cut. I am not saying its not possible, but rare indeed.

Then I was a banquet server. As a banquet server, I mainly just served at wedding receptions. I heard the cheesiest music every Friday and Saturday night. I feared dropping trays every second. I saw too many old drunk people dance worse than I can describe. One DJ told me that my white gloves turned him on. He was over 60. I said thank you.
I also would laugh to myself at how much higher my voice would get when I spoke to these people. I would say "Would you like more coffee, sir?" in the highest voice ever. I would not even try. I just automatically comes out.

Those were the first 2 jobs of my life and this blog is rather lengthy so I need to wrap it up. In conclusion, working bites and I am not for it. The super annoying thing about it all is that I like money.

Tuesday, September 4, 2007

Cheerleading

I am not for it. Too much pep. I understand people "think" its a sport, but it is not. Yes, congratulations, you compete, but I believe it is too annoying to consider a sport. I do not feel one's facial expressions should be considered in a sport. In fact, the more disgusting one can produce his/her face to be, the more respect I have for that sport. I enjoy looking at the sports page in the local newspaper to see the high schoolers faces. They are usually really embarrassing. I have been fortunate enough to have the absolute sickest face action shots in tennis printed in our newspaper which then was pasted on my high schools bulletin board to make sure everyone saw the sickness. A cheerleader has to constantly smile, so that is one reason why its not a real sport. Not only do you need to be smiling at all times, but you have to do it to the point of creepiness.
Like this:
or .
I also just do not think you can classify cheering for another sport as a sport. A sport is being played when there is a cheerleader present. The only people that classify cheerleading as a sport are cheerleaders and their parents. Not even parents, just moms. Yes, sometimes they get injured so one may think that helps make it a sport. No, they are just dumb. Or one may say but they do really good jumps and flips and twirls, but I really do not care. A sport needs a ball or something. A sport needs a sports bra. I do not consider dancing a sport either. I like dancing. It's nice to watch. It's not a sport. But cheerleading is super annoying so I wrote about that. Some of my friends were cheerleaders in their day. I am still friends with them, but only because I make myself forget they were once "one of them". Its nice to be cheered for when playing a sport. But a cheerleader probably does not know how to play the sport they are cheering for. Also a cheerleader is too busy falling from the pyramid to even watch the sport being played. How can you truly put your heart into cheering if you are not watching the game? Yes, ok, they are getting the crowd pumped up. But I get less pumped when I see a cheerleader shaking her pom poms to make me cheer louder. I do not like being forced to cheer. When something good happens I will clap. I am sorry for offending any cheerleaders. You have your opinion, I have mine.

Sunday, September 2, 2007

Cheesecake

It's super good. No, its SUPER good. I really love it. I really like The Cheesecake Factory. I kind of want to always eat there. I never order dessert at a restaurant but when I go there, I feel I have to because of its name. I really like ordering dessert but I never wanted to spend more money, but that place makes you feel like its necessary because why would you go to eat at a cheesecake factory and not get cheesecake? I think the name cheesecake is super sick. Never did I want to try it because it just sounds gross. I mean, I like cheese and I like cake, but together I don't like the sound of it. Kind of like chocolate pizza. I love chocolate and I love pizza, but I don't love them together. But I am referring to if the pizza consisted of dough, sauce, cheese, and chocolate chunks. One may take the term "chocolate pizza" and think sugar cookie crust, chocolate syrup, whipped cream, and chocolate sprinkles to which I would think would be amazing, ergo I would like a chocolate pizza. But I was referring to a real pizza with chocolate on top, which would not be tasty. But cheesecake, despite its interesting name, is sensational. I love rich things. Never have I ever come across something too rich for me to handle. I like it with strawberries, oreos, chocolate peanut butter cookie dough, and I like it plain. It makes me really happy and although it could lead to a heart attack if I ate it as much as I would prefer, it makes me real nice and happy at the moment and I'm glad its around.

Types of Friends

The loud one.
The funny one.
The slutty one.
The one you dont consider a friend but more a person that's always there.
The high-fiver.
The rich one.
The mooch.
The mom.
The bitch.
The smart one.
The one that won't stop talking.
The listener.
The one that only likes talking about him/herself.
The one you say, "lets hang out" every time you run into but never really do.
The one you see is calling but never answer.
The busy one.
The one by association.
The one you want to defriend on myspace because of bulletin overload.
The drunk.
The sketchy one.
The attention seeker.
The super nice one.
The texter.
The one that always completes the night.
The side kick.
The selfish one.
The one that makes you buy them drinks.
The one that buys you drinks.
The one that is so happy that its weird to see sad.
The responsible one.
The one that is your really good friend but is in a relationship so you never hang out anymore.
The diva.
The ones you fart in front of.
The ones you don't.
The one you get deep with.
The one that is always there for you.
The quiet yet really funny one.
The one that is exactly like you.
The blunt one.
The one with benefits.
The one that you know before going out that if you go out with him/her that there will be drama by the end of the night.
The temporary one.
The ones from first grade.
The smelly one.
The one to discuss music with.
The one that really bums you out if they are not there.
The one that you always try and remember how you became friends because you are so different.
The one that always makes you really happy.
The one you know through people so you finally became friends.
The one that is always tired.
The wild one.
The one that you call when you are sad.
The one that you are only friends through myspace/facebook.
The gross one.
The Best Friend.
The hippie.
The one you use for rides/homework/drugs.
The one you never hang out with.
The one that calls just to chat.
The weird one.
The one with the good clothes.
The one you wish you weren't friends with.
The one that always eats.
The one that only calls when his/her girlfriend/boyfriend is out of town.
The caring one.
The stupid one.
The one that knows more about you than your family.