Condiments

I think condiments are not that interesting, yet interesting enough to blog about. I just recently heard that Ketchup is considered trashy. I am not sure how I feel about that statement just yet. Let me think about it and get back to it.

I love hot sauce, as a true blogging fan of mine would already know. Mustard is sicker than severed arms covered in butter. I do however like wearing the color mustard: very fashionable. Mayo couldn’t get any ghettoer. I think its equivalent to eating lard and I think that’s gross. Egg salad has mayo in it and I think that adds to the sick nasty factor of it all. I hate seeing people put relish on things. Its so gross and why would you ever eat it? Actually, I never ate relish. I know I won’t like it, ergo I will never try it because I am mature enough to know what I like and do not like without having to try it first. Please don’t tell me that I have to try everything at least once because I don’t.

Would you consider humus a condiment?

I like vinegar on fries. It’s a good change from ketchup. I think if I could only choose ketchup or vinegar for a lifetime of fry eating I would choose ketchup, but because vinegar is rare I choose it when given the opportunity cause it’s a nice taste. I love love love ketchup on my fries though and I eat a lot of it on every fry if given the opportunity. I would approximate my ultimate ketchup to fry ratio would be one packet to 4 fries. Yes, I know that fries come in all different shapes and sizes but I am referring to the average sized fry. Waffle fries are too good. Catsup on anything but fries is rank. I do not put it on burgers or hot dogs. I don’t like ketchup bread. Its really gross.

Steak sauce? I don’t see a need for it. I actually can’t recall if I have ever tried it but steak rocks on its own so why go overboard?

Ranch dressing used to be so awesome to me. Now I look at it and get a little gross feeling in my stomach. Its just so heavy. I guess I still like it on chicken fingers but I’m a flexetarian now so I rarely come across that opportunity. Putting ranch on a salad defeats the purpose of a salad. I’m gonna eat a salad only to be healthy, so if I put ranch on the stupid salad its most likely as fattening as eating something good so obvi I’m going to pick the something good.

There are more condiments, but I would prefer to stop talking about them now. I will leave you with this discussion topic: Is maple syrup a condiment? It is in Elf but I’m not sure if I would classify it as one. And also, do you pronounce it sir-up or sere-up or use them both interchangeably?