Ughhh. Kill me. That is usually my first thought after the 5th snooze. Snooze is stressful to me. I know I need to get up, but I cannot. I just cannot. So I snooze. It's the most uncomfortable 5 minutes ever. If I sleep during the snooze the sleep seems like I just blinked and then I hear that horrible noise right away. Or, if I can't physically get up, but I also cannot fully sleep, I just am in my bed waiting to hear the horrible noise. Ew, it's so miserable. I believe that the world would be 10 times happier if we banned alarms. Just wake up when you feel like it. Ok, things would be a lot less productive, but I have time. I can wait. If I become CEO of a company, I am going to have a few policies. Come to work when you wake up. Stay until you cannot really use your brain anymore (expected ~ 1.5 hours). Fridays: off. No one is productive on Fridays. Naps: optional. Everyone would be so nice! If you have ever worked in an office, you know that people are actually doing the work they need to be doing about 5 to 20% of the day. Why force someone to stay longer? It just makes everyone grumpy.
The only morning I ever liked in my life was Christmas. The first year I slept in for Christmas was weird. It's when I knew I was a woman and not a girl. JK, I have never thought that. But regardless, it was weird. I could wait to open gifts? I'm so mature! But the gift of sleep has become much more important to me these days. I would sleep 14 hours a day if I could. I would be happy. I know I would actually be crabby when I would be awake because when you oversleep you get tired too which completely does not make sense to me but ok I would be
crabby but then I would think about how much sleep I just had and inside I would be all fuzzy and happy but crabby outside.
It physically hurts me to speak 20 minutes after I get out of my bed. DONT MAKE ME SAY GOOD MORNING TO YOU. I give my roommates the "Goodmorning" eye, but they don't get it. They want the words. Too painful. The "goodmorning" eye turns into a death glare and I head straight to the bathroom. Can't help it. The morning is a terrible time. It's usually a dreaded day ahead of me which just makes it all the worse. But even if its an awesome day to be excited for, when I'm in my bed, I do not want to get out. No, never. Ever.
I recently had to be at the airport for this silly internship I am doing. I have to reduce the wait time of the morning check-in lines. I have to be there at 3:30AM. This is no joke. If it was a joke, it would be the cruelest joke in the entire world. So anyways, it was real and I kept a journal of my first day at work:
3:25 - Arrived
3:26 - No coffee available, thought otherwise when arriving. Regret not stopping at Tim Hortons.
3:30 - Want to take a nap
3:33 - No one really here. Kind of weird.
3:40 - Noah and I observe the TSA staff coming in.
3:47 - We decide that we are going to come in at 4:00AM for the future Mondays.
3:48 - Coffee still unavailable. Eyes drooping.
4:04 - Lights come on. Things are picking up.
4:09 - Coffee place lights come on. A little hopeful.
4:12 - Stand up to get come energy
4: 13 - Did not work
4:15 - Eat apple that brought for lunch for energy
4:22 - Walked around again. Obtained no information.
4:27 - Getting busy.
4:28 - Still no coffee. Confused/tired
4:35 - Coffee man behind counter. Still not open. Fake out.
4:40 - Noah and I were productive for 3 minutes!!
4:43 - Starting to get looks from workers.
4:53 - WTF!!! No coffee. Feeling hopeless.
4: 59 - Coffee open! Feeling alright.
5:00 - $3.48 for Large coffee and apple.
5:01 - Annoyed. Put 4 sugar packets in.
5:02 - Forgot I was supposed to meet lady at 5:00. She was waiting for me. Already messed up.
5:20 - Met 2 nice ladies.
5:25 - Huge lines. Where did they come from?
5:43 - Realize there is no solution to making the wait time shorter.
5:44 - Project: Screwed
5:46 - Observed 3 people
wearing head pillows in line. Weird.
5:55 - Heard someone say this time was early. Body hurt with anger.
Then I got too tired to write anymore for the rest of my time spent there.
Some things:
I would be upset for 3 days if someone woke me up by pouring cold water on me.
I would like my little cousins 20 times more if they did not find such joy at waking me up at 8:00AM every time they come to visit.
2 hour delays in high school were the best things ever. Sleep in. School is obviously not productive and you never have to make up the day of. Jack pot.
How long do you have to sleep to get morning breath?
In conclusion, I'm tired. I'm going to bed. But I do find it weird that my favorite and least favorite times are spent in the same place. I am happiest now because I am about to sleep. I am most miserable in the same spot, but listening to my alarm ring.
What a world.
Do you know about the Gauntlet? Those MTV Real World vs Road Rules challenge thingys. I'll admit, I like watching them. Something about annoying bitches and extremely large muscley men duking it out amuses me. It just really confuses me. The people turn into animals. They are no longer humans. They are heartless f*cks that should be really embarrassed that they are actually doing this. I understand money is cool and its fun to win, but to make yourself seem like a weird psycho bitch to the entire world, makes the money not so tempting. On the contrary, I would be awesome at all of the challenges. I am pretty sure I would win everything. I know I could beat Coral. But Ok, I'm only admitting to beating the girls. Cause they are really all whiney stupid bitches. Or just a bitch. Or just stupid. But the guys on the other hand. I would lose every challege. I just do not understand where these men exist. They are all over 6'million" and over 220 lbs of muscle. The only guys I see would be pushing it if they said they weighed 145 lbs regardless of how tall they are. Its fine to be a skinny, real normal, mostly because 'roid ragers are real weird. But it just makes MTV real mean because they are not showing the other 99% of the type of people in this world. Real World should be called Unreal Man Bodies and Extreme-super Bitch show. Ok well, I have been to the gym. I have seen some guys over 145lbs. But they are mostly fat. Fat and muscley. Or maybe I should search more in a frat house for this type of male. But then, I do not want to search for this because if I ever found a man that is that annoying and in love with himself and that loud when he gets mad, I would hate him with my whole heart.
